THIS is Spring in Wisconsin?!?!?! Hellz yeah, I'll take it!!!!! Image credit: Phillip Billings, fineartamerica.com

Squee; I’m so excited!  Over the next week and a half, I will be travelling to three Northern areas of the U.S. I’ve never visited before.  So if you’re in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, or Sacramento…this is your chance to come see me do a reading/speechy-thingy and/or get your copy of The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness signed (personally addressed, even!  I love writing little special notes/doodles in copies of the book.  I like to shake things up).

Dates and times are now up on the Upcoming Events page.  I’m gonna be all over the place…several Fox Cities Book Festival venues in WI (a university, a couple of libraries), speaking to an awesome-youth-changing-the-world group (California Coalition for Youth) in Sacramento and marching with them to a rally at the State Capitol, and in Pennsylvania I’ll be at the Meeting the Challenge: Educating Homeless Children conference in Harrisburg.

It’s gonna be awesome.  I am SO stoked.  Come hang out with me  :)

* * * * *

OK, a little bit of juicy news in exchange/apology for being in absentia for so long.

I get a lot of people writing very kind letters to me expressing solidarity and asking how stuff is going for me, romantically speaking.  Seeing as how, if you read the book, it could be considered to have ended on something of a bum note (depending how you look at it). I also get a lot of readers telling me their own stories of failed/dramatic/abusive relationships and betrayal.  Which actually makes me feel less alone, and less stupid overall.  Because you know what?  That’s something that’s quite common among individuals who come from abusive/fundamentalist backgrounds.  You aren’t experienced at real life, relationships, and boundaries.  You don’t know what’s considered healthy or normal.  You’re likely to fall in love with the first person (or several people) who show you the slightest modicum of interest.  You’re vulnerable to unhealthy romantic relationships, more so than most.  So all you can do is sort of learn how to do better, bit by bit.

Image Credit: QuickSprout.com

A blogger called “NimbyGirl” recently wrote a great, detailed analysis of feminism and chauvinism in The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness.  I was elated that someone GOT IT.  That she picked up on all those more subtle topics, and that the book wasn’t just about being homeless, but about trying to figure out and conquer all of these really socially advanced concepts, having come from a socially stunted background.

I really appreciated her last sentence:  ”She can do a lot better…and she will”.  THAT is exactly what I want to tell every person who has ever written me with his/her own story of love gone terribly wrong.

So this brings me to the juicy news.  I guess you could say that I’ve “done better”.

See, after the fiasco that was my last relationship, I decided not to date for a really long time.  And I stuck to my guns.  For two years, I focused on holding down my job, getting an apartment, spending time with good friends, reading a lot of books, and getting to know myself better.  Getting to the point where I felt comfortable and happy just being alone.  It was great to realize that I didn’t need to be with someone to feel complete.  Maybe I would meet someone, maybe I wouldn’t.  Either way, it was OK.  I now firmly believe that to be essential, no matter who you are.

Four months ago, I met somebody.  We’ll call him J.  I’m not going to give out his full name, so as to retain his privacy, and I probably won’t talk much or at all about our relationship on this blog again, so as to keep from jinxing our personal business, but here are the things that I can tell you:

I wasn’t looking to date.  Neither was he.  Neither of us had dated anybody in quite a while and were comfortable with that.  A mutual friend invited us and five or six other people to dinner.  It wasn’t a set up a blind date, but we sort of shyly noticed one another and ended up hitting it off.  The main thing we had in common, right off the bat, was that we were both raised Jehovah’s Witnesses, and we had both left around the same time.  He was actually a former Bethelite (volunteer at the Watchtower Society’s headquarters…tangential note here:  oh, the irony.  If my sister could see me now.  She always thought SHE would be the one to date a Bethelite, haha.  It’s a stupid prestige thing for the JWs…often titles mean a lot more to them than personalities.  You can be a terrible person, but if you’re an “elder”, “pioneer”, or “Bethelite”, the women will be racing to marry you; guaranteed).

A week later, he emailed and asked me out for coffee.  We took things slow, and are still taking them slow.  We seem to understand one another well due to our similar upbringings and share quite a few personality traits.  My experience with him has been that he is kind, patient, funny, talented, stable, and gregarious.  He is also a feminist (yay!)  Thus far, things seem to remain on an even keel…no unequal power balance, neither person is doing all of the heavy lifting, etc.  I’m increasingly feeling that this is the way things should be.

J. found out early on that I wrote a book, but at my request, he held off reading it until we got to know one another better.  I wanted him to get to know me as I am now, before having to take on all of my past baggage all at once.  When he did finally read it, and the book did not change his opinion of me, I knew that he cares about me for who I am, the good and the bad.  Sometimes I’m still nervous or insecure, due to my former experiences in personal relationships (both family and romantic).  He has been unfailingly understanding and reassuring, so the insecurity lessens day by day.  Learning to trust again, and all that.

We’ve had enough of the bigger conversations to know that we share very similar life goals as well as some of the same interests/and hobbies…though not all of them.  Which is awesome, actually.  We retain our individuality, our own circles of friends and our time to pursue our separate interests.  We hold a lot of the same positions on politics and social issues…but now all of them.  Every now and then we disagree, and I love that we can.  It’s never a big deal; we can discuss and debate this stuff amiably.

Who knows what will happen down the road.  Maybe things will work out and we’ll end up together.  Maybe not (always a possibility.  Always.  I don’t care who you are or who you’re with or how great things seem on their face).  But the best I can hope for is that if they don’t work, at least they not-work in a way that is, for lack of a better word, standard.  Healthier and less destructive.  It’s early days, but there has not been the slightest sign of any bizarrely gothic skeletons in J.’s closet, no secret girlfriends, and definitely no secret babies (we’re both child-free by choice), no bodies in the attic, etc.  Early days, but my experience with him has been, thus far that he’s unilaterally a wonderful person, and very bookish/low-key like me.  So we seem to suit one another.  And I feel that I can be reasonably secure in stating that no matter what happens with us as a couple, it will not end up with police pulling me out of a snowdrift this time  ;)

So there you have it.  If you’ve had bad romantic experiences like I have, I hope some of this helps somewhat.  Look for someone who respects you, who doesn’t manipulate you (even in small ways…what can seem like small and subtle manipulations are often the sign of much deeper problems looming on the horizon).  Look for someone who wants enough of the same things you do to base the foundation of a relationship on, but not so many similarities that you fall victim to the dreaded two-headed-person syndrome and lose all sense of individuality.

Better yet, don’t look for anyone, for a while.  Know yourself inside and out.  Realize that couplehood is nice and all, but you don’t need a man/woman to save you or make you complete.  Only you can do that.  Just have a good time for a while.  The world is an awesome and fascinating place.  Be a good person, do good things, make a difference, make new friends, get to know the friends that you already have even better.  Go to therapy and figure your shit out if that’s something you feel would be helpful.  Stop placing your expectations for happiness and a good life on romance (it’s twee and cliché to do that, anyway.  This isn’t Jerry Maguire.  Nobody’s gonna “complete you”).

Don’t expect happiness to equate to constant euphoria.  You’re still gonna have the same mundane everyday crap to deal with that we all do, and probably sometimes even more than that – more than your fair share.  But you’ll realize that you’re more practiced and better equipped at dealing with them.  You’ll know that, despite the problems we all have, you like and respect yourself.  Then you’ll be ready for a functional, healthy adult relationship if/when it does come.  And it will only add to the happiness that you already discovered was within you all along, right there for the taking.

J. and I are having a lovely time together.  He makes me so happy.  But it’s all the more meaningful because I spent a lot of time re-evaluating my definition of happiness, and then inching closer to obtaining it as an individual, before we ever met.

Not at all a pleasant post today, but a necessary one:

Police believe there is a dangerous serial killer on the loose in Orange County, CA targeting homeless people. Three homeless men have already been murdered between Dec. 20 and Dec. 30.

Attacks on the homeless have been on the rise for the past few years and it’s one of the major reasons I was so keen on keeping my identity and location secret while I was initially blogging. (FYI, all three murders took place extremely close to the area I was staying. Like, within a mile or two close. One in a public shopping center.  This is my home turf, people.)

If you’re homeless anywhere, but particularly in Orange County right now, WATCH YOUR BACK.  Be aware of your surroundings.  Try not to be anywhere isolated, especially at night.  Look over this list of safety/survival tips that I posted a couple of years back. Be prepared.  This sick, twisted monster fuck is out there and has not yet been caught and will probably be looking to strike again.  Even if they do catch him, there’s always more out there like him, and homeless people are easy prey – they’re vulnerable and often it’s erroneously assumed that nobody will miss them.  Take care of yourself.

* * * * *

Ugh.  Palate cleanser:

The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness just came out in Australia and New Zealand, and I’ve already received some encouraging emails from very awesome locals.  Australia Associated Press put out a super-lovely article yesterday, also. Gonna be doing several upcoming interviews there, so I’ll post when I know the dates/times (for radio and TV) or when print interviews are released.  Thank you to everybody Down Under for your support and kind words  :)

Image Credit: edmontonatheists.ca

I wish all of you guys and gals Seasons Greetings, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festive Kwanzaa, Pleasant Winter Solstice, or whatever else you do/do not celebrate (dude, I’m just happy to have a few days off work to relax and unwind).  Mostly I just hope that your holiday is filled with happiness and joy and that you forget your troubles for a while  :)

I saw this excellent 60 Minutes story that I would like to share with you.  I loved how brave and articulate the homeless children profiled in this story are.  I hope they have a lovely holiday as well.  I read in an update that following the story, they were offered a full four-year scholarship and that Arielle Metzger wants to be a child-advocacy attorney when she grows up, so I have a feeling their luck is changing.  *Fingers crossed*  In summation, though, these kids kick ARSE.

Read the story and watch the segment here:  Hard Times Generation:  Families Living in Cars

Also, two tiny shameless plugs:

1)  The tGGtH book is coming out in Australia in January!!!  If you’re an Australian reader, look for me on Sunrise with Mel and Kochie on Monday, January 9th (via satellite).  I’m really excited because I’ve seen them on The Chaser’s War on Everything.  I will also be doing some print and radio.  I hope they send me to Oz one day.  I’ve never been, but I can already tell it would be one of my favorite places on Earth.  I want to swim with whale sharks and poke wombats with sticks and such things  ;)

2) Library Journal selected The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness as one of it’s Best Books of 2011, in the Memoir category.  I can’t tell you how honored and humbled I am to be listed among such a slew of brilliant and talented authors, especially Margaux Fragoso (whom I pretty much idolize and met at ALA when we shared time on a literary panel…she was kind enough to sign my copy of her book and put up with my wide-eyed author worship) and Andre Dubus III (whom I’ve never met, but come on, he wrote House of Sand and Fog! That’s pretty much all you gotta say, right?)  Read their books.  Seriously.  Doooooo it.

Have a wonderful holiday and the happiest of New Years, foks  :)

Girls Think Tank Founders. Image Credit: GirlsThinkTank.org

I am in San Diego right now because I will be speaking at the Girls Think Tank Community Picnic tomorrow (Oct. 15), which will be taking place in Balboa Park from noon to 4:00 p.m.  I’d love to meet you, talk with you, and/or sign a copy of your book (there will be a few copies available for purchase, as well, I believe…like 20 or something).  There will be several homeless services orgs from the San Diego community in attendance, and I’m told that Occupy San Diego may be in the park as well, so this should be very interesting.  One of Girls Think Tank’s major focuses is accessible water and sanitation for all homeless people (the United Nations has declared these basic human rights).  I’m pretty sure that’s something everybody can get behind.

Did a quick segment today on San Diego Living Channel 6 with the very kind and sweet Renee Koch about the picnic tomorrow and also had the privilege to have a phone chat with an über-lovely ladies’ book club in the Los Alamitos/Seal Beach area, which are some of my old stomping grounds because that’s where my mom grew up and we spent a lot of time there while I was a kid.

And then on Sunday (Oct. 16) I’ll be doing a reading/signing/Q&A at the Katie Wheeler Public Library in Irvine at 2:30 p.m., 13109 Old Myford Rd., Irvine, CA  92602.  If you’re in Orange County and you’ve never been to this library, you seriously need to go.  It is fucking adorable.  In this warm, sweet little historic building.  The first time I ever went in there was to drop off some postcards for a South Coast Repertory show, and I did not want to leave (OK, I never want to leave libraries, but this one had an extra-charming je ne sais quois).

I had the absolute best time at the Tustin Public Library reading last week – both the staff and the attendees were just some of the warmest, kindest people I’ve ever encountered.  I’m discovering just how much I love “book people” and want to get to know more of them because they’re among the easiest people for me to relate to and we have endless topics of conversation available once we get on the subject of reading, so I’m grateful for the opportunity to encounter so many lately.  Looking forward to repeating the experience at Katie Wheeler Library.

Quick PSA:  Support your local library, people!  I mean, I know there’s Kindles or Nooks or whatever (still can’t bring myself to buy one) but libraries serve such an important purpose and function in communities far beyond what a Kindle could ever offer me, that I don’t want to live in a world where libraries and used/indie bookstores have become obsolete – and my agent will probably strangle me for saying this (very politely though, as he’s a total sweetheart), because I think I might actually get a higher royalty percentage off of e-books than hard copies…but fuck it, I don’t care.  (*obligatory backpedal* Love you, Chris Schelling.  Please don’t ever leave me).

Next time you’re in a library, tell the librarian that he/she rocks and is appreciated.  Because these are seriously awesome people doing seriously awesome work.

* * * * *

That’s about it for now.  Here is a photo of a mastiff being used as a footrest:

Sleep, my minion.

First Lady Cecile DeJongh distributes food and Tiny Tokens of Hope in St. John.

Just a quickie post…the Virgin Islands officially declared 10/10 “V.I. Homeless Day”, in recognition of and solidarity with World Homeless Day!

OK, gotta admit, I’m wiping away a tiny tear.  So, so proud of how far this has spread.  I know I’ve said it before, but there it is.

Thanks to Governor John deJongh Jr. and First Lady Cecile deJongh for making my day.

(Please consider using the hashtag #morethanwords today on Twitter to help get WHAD trending.)

As a co-founder, it’s weird (and cool!) to see how far the day has spread and the ingeniously creative ways so many homeless services organizations are taking the concept and running with it, along with the endorsement of celebs such as Crystal Bowersox, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim All-Star outfielder Vernon Wells, and John Mellencamp (for his second year in a row – much thanks for his support!)  Check out some of the coverage and participation WHAD is getting (will be adding here throughout the day):

http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2011/10/protesters_to_take_over_vacant.php

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/10/sharewheel-in-seattle-clo_n_1004081.html

http://beta.local.yahoo.com/advocates-homeless-community-occupy-vacant-buildings-san-francisco-kron4?woeid=2487956

http://reddingvoice.com/2011/10/10/world-homeless-day-101011/

http://www.toledoblade.com/Editorials/2011/10/09/Eye-on-poverty.html

http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/local/barnsley/more_homeless_people_in_city_1_3842721

http://www.homeless.org.uk/news/time-bridge-gap-in-mental-health-support-homeless

http://www.pe.com/local-news/riverside-county/riverside/riverside-headlines-index/20111006-riverside-homeless-documentary-showing-sunday.ece

http://paper.li/UK_Housing

http://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/ireland/homeless-numbers-on-the-rise-says-charity-523744.html

http://www.mydesert.com/article/20111009/NEWS01/110090321/Activists-camp-out-help-homeless?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|Frontpage

http://www.toledoblade.com/local/2011/10/10/Hundreds-walk-for-unhoused.html

http://www.news.com.au/grant-to-feed-the-states-hungry/story-e6frea83-1226162486128

http://www.news-journalonline.com/news/local/east-volusia/2011/10/08/volusias-homeless-housing-bursting-at-seams-1.html

http://communications.uwo.ca/western_news/stories/2011/October/world_homeless_action_day.html

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=18&articleid=20111008_11_A13_CUTLIN641701

http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/local/tempe/article_d442dedc-f05a-11e0-b9c5-001cc4c03286.html

http://www.thecoastalsource.com/news/local/story/New-Hydrahope-Bottled-Water-Sales-Supports-Homeles/EG0ZZ4-ep0Sd63mg6KVB9g.cspx?rss=1669

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/1010/breaking45.html

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/grant-to-feed-the-states-hungry/story-e6frea83-1226162486128

http://www.wired-gov.net/wg/wg-news-1.nsf/0/32F3A7BC61C3E4F480257925004F40E6?OpenDocument

http://www.q102.ie/news/news-item.aspx?ID=4440162f-8b0a-44c4-915c-ecd60fd600bd

http://www.98fm.com/2011/category-news-sport/homeless-charity-seeks-long-term-help/

http://www.midlandsradio.fm/news_detail.aspx?footer=1&news_id=12936

http://getsmartnews.com/news/235104

http://www.bournemouthchamber.org.uk/j-events-monthly/icalrepeat.detail/2011/10/10/412/-/bcha-world-homeless-day-

http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2011/10/10/18692939.php

http://whatcanidocampaign.org/without-a-home-worl-homeless-day/

http://www.nwcn.com/home/?fId=131433988&fPath=/news/local&fDomain=10212

http://www.familypromisegv.org/world-homeless-day/

http://mynorthwest.com/?nid=11&sid=560336

http://planetatheism.com/ / http://theradula.blogspot.com/2011/10/quick-updates.html

http://www.wtoc.com/story/15659279/homeless-group-launches-bottled-water-brand

http://www.newstalk.ie/2011/programmes/all-programmes/lunchtime/the-lunchtime-bite-49/

http://www.demotiximages.com/news/867485/right-2-dream-too-opens-space-portlanders-world-homeless-day

http://chicagocares.wordpress.com/2011/10/10/thinking-outside-the-cardboard-box-world-homeless-day/

http://sfappeal.com/news/2011/10/homes-not-jails-to-demonstrate-at-civic-center-take-over-ten-vacant-properties-across-sf.php

http://www.calgaryherald.com/technology/Less+fortunate+Calgarians+give+thanks+turkey+dinners/5528858/story.html

http://sfist.com/2011/10/10/occupysf_and_homes_not_jails_team_u.php

http://lakecity.komonews.com/news/people/677457-300-homeless-out-streets-seattle-shelters-forced-close

http://www.sfexaminer.com/local/2011/10/homeless-advocates-occupy-vacant-buildings-san-francisco

http://www.kron4.com/Article.aspx?ArticleID=2101

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2790724/posts

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/10/nonprofit_right_2_dream_too_se.html

http://seattlest.com/2011/10/10/its_world_homeless_action_day_sleep.php

http://www.wistv.com/story/15660693/homelessness-and-hunger-on-the-rise

http://venice.patch.com/events/world-homeless-day-parade

http://www.kpho.com/story/15661237/concert-at-tempe-beach-park-benefits-homeless

http://www.dentonrc.com/sharedcontent/dws/drc/localnews/stories/DRC_homeles_1011.1ec478b72.html

http://www.mydesert.com/article/20111010/GETPUBLISHED/110100338/Rescue-Mission-Marks-World-Homeless-Day-with-Launch-of-Business-Angel-Progm?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|Prep%20Sports|s

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/art/features/what-made-an-accountant-dedicate-his-life-to-documenting-the-plight-of-the-homeless-2365968.html

http://www.eastlondonadvertiser.co.uk/news/walking_tours_led_by_homeless_guides_discover_london_from_an_alternative_perspective_1_1084625

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2011/10/11/20111011tempe-concert-starts-effort-help-homeless.html

http://www.capetownpartnership.co.za/homeless-require-inclusive-solution/

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/san_francisco&id=8386451

http://www.king5.com/news/local/Homeless-stage-sleep-out-outside-Gates-Foundation-building-131516328.html

http://lesbonner.mycouncillor.org.uk/2011/10/11/julian-huppert-marks-homeless-day-by-tackling-government-on-the-issue/

http://houselessness.org/?p=179

http://stjohnsource.com/content/news/local-news/2011/10/11/first-lady-launches-tiny-tokens-hope

http://current.com/news-and-politics/93488660_homeless-advocates-occupy-san-francisco-buildings-in-mass-squatting-effort.htm

http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_19089272

http://sfpublicpress.org/news/2011-10/empty-sf-hotels-occupied-in-world-homeless-day-protest

http://www.ballinaadvocate.com.au/story/2011/10/12/home-sweet-home/

http://greensteinmcdonald.com/blogwp/2011/10/unwanted-mcmansions-make-them-affordable-housing/

http://angels.ocregister.com/2011/10/12/vernon-wells-comes-to-the-plate-for-homeless/101193/

http://www.dentonrc.com/sharedcontent/dws/drc/opinion/editorials/stories/DRC_Editoral_1012.1f33c248f.html

http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/9299564.Tournament_tackles_homeless_stigma/

Image credit: Tustin Public Library; ocsd.org

If you’re in O.C., I would love to meet you at today’s signing/reading/Q&A at the Tustin Public Library, 345 East Main Street, Tustin, CA 92780, from 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

And if you can’t make it today, you’ll get another chance on Sunday, October 16, at the Katie Wheeler Public Library in Irvine, 13109 Old Myford Road, Irvine, CA  92602, from 2:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.!

If you’re too far South in Cali to make it to either of these, I will also be at the Girls Think Tank 2011 Community Picnic at Balboa Park in San Diego on October 15 from noon to 4:00 p.m.

I will also be in Clearwater, FL at the end of October.  More details to come.

* * * * *

Now for the disappointing news:  The TEDx event I was to speak at has been indefinitely postponed.  I’ve been recommended to a new one, but I’m not sure yet if/when that will happen, so I’ll update when I know.

Was also to speak in Cortland, NY this weekend for World Homeless Day/Poverty Awareness Week, but that also has been postponed and I’m not sure if/when it will be rescheduled.  So, I am now open and willing for WHD bookings – it’s on October 10th!  Second year running.  Really proud of what we’ve accomplished so far. I hear that the Occupy Wall Street movement may do something in recognition of that day, as well, so that’s really exciting.  I’m following that news story very carefully and I support the demonstrators and their right to peacefully assemble and protest.  I kinda wish I was there in NYC so I could see how it all pans out, but I’m reading that similar Occupy movements are springing up around the country and the world, so who knows, I may get to watch it from my own backyard.

Photo Credit: Jennifer Becker; www.jbeckerphoto.com

I know.  I know.  I know, I know, I know.  I have been terribly remiss in my posting duties. I feel awful. There’s no excuse. (But I’m gonna make excuses anyway.)

There was lots of travelling and speaking and signing with libraries and homeless organizations and literary conferences and stuff. (And there’s quite a few more this month, but I’ll post those under upcoming events for you guys). On the bright side, I got to see some amazing places and have crazy awesome experiences that I never could have afforded myself, all thanks to my publisher sending me out to these events. I’ve now been to New Orleans (ate alligator!), San Francisco (hung out with one of their literary treasures, Tony DuShane, who was kind enough to put me up on his couch), New York (saw a taping of The Colbert Report, which was up there on my list of top 10 greatest experiences ever, so special thanks to the Audience Coordinator Stewart Nurick, who read my book and offered me front-and-center VIP seats…and congrats to Stewart and his lovely wife Alison on their beautiful newborn son Gregory), and Alexandria (met some brilliant young homeless advocate who are working hard to change the world).

In addition, South Coast Repertory’s new season just started, so it’s been madness for weeks at my 9-5 job, running around getting prepared.

And last, but certainly not least, I just became rehoused.

That’s right, I’m writing this to you now as a fully rehoused, not-even-technically-homeless woman in a legal residence. No more code enforcement saga. No more 80+ mile round-trip commute per day. Fez and I just moved into a very tiny, but perfectly respectable, little studio guesthouse/backhouse in Santa Ana, only three miles from my job. This was made possible by my publisher purchasing the rights to publish The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness in two foreign countries (so keep an eye out; the book is coming to an Australia and a Germany near you). It wasn’t a large advance, but it was enough for first month’s rent and deposit.

So I’ve spent the past month-and-a-half preparing to move out of Riverside, and then the past two weeks moving, unpacking, finding Craigslist/thrift store furniture, lifting heavy things, and generally buckling under the mass of about ten jillion conflicting emotions, as you might imagine.

I love the new place. I love being close to work. I love having more time to spend with my dog. I love that it’s about 30 degrees cooler here than in the desert. I am, of course, so grateful to those who put me up in Riverside for a low price and were kind to me, but there’s an overwhelming sense of relief to not be spending four hours per day in a car.

There’s also survivor’s guilt, and a readjustment period – I was warned there would be and prepared, of course, but it’s still not fun. My moods cycle up and down a little more than usual; I’ve been stressing a lot, sometimes over things that would normally seem petty to me. There’s the fear that homelessness could happen again, that something could still always happen – maybe I could lose my job again and not be able to pay rent. Maybe this will happen or that will happen. Maybe maybe maybe. So it’s been a little exhausting, and of course I’ve felt guilty every time I’ve almost picked up my laptop to write a blog post and then went…nah. I’m just too drained. I can’t face it right now. I’ll deal with it later.

But overall, I’m trying to soak in the joy of it. This place feels like it could be a home. It’s very private and feels like my own little niche, and I’m doing what I can to kind of nest and make it my own. Fez seems to be loving it as well; he gets to hang out with me for an extra several hours per day and while I’m at work, the people in the main house have a little dog that likes playing with him. The people in the main house seem very kind so far and they pretty much let me be so again, it all feels very private. And they clearly adore Fez, also.

So now, obviously, it’s time for me to get up off my arse and get back to blogging. I want to keep this blog going and focus on homelessness/poverty issues in the media – I’ve been following several stories very closely, particularly the Kelly Thomas beating/murder, which is particularly significant to me because I grew up in Fullerton, and it makes me extra angry…That’s my hometown, things like that aren’t supposed to happen there, etc. I’ll post more in-depth about it later, but the one small silver lining to it is seeing that it has finally begun to receive national coverage, and that the people in my hometown, who are normally very quiet and content, have really risen to the occasion. They’re angry, and rightfully so, about what happened to Kelly Thomas, and they’ve been protesting about it constantly, and I find it heartening that very few of them have been spouting the vitriol towards the homeless and mentally ill that you normally see in news comments sections.

Anyway, right now I’m in Tucson, about to speak at the Wings of Hope gala tonight, and next week I’ll be opening the TEDxSA-Artists Villiage event at the Yost Theatre in Santa Ana.  So obviously I’m really excited and honored and terrified. Over the coming weeks I’ll probably be doing events in Cortland, NYC, Florida, Irvine, Tustin, and San Diego. I’ll post more detailed info over the next couple days in the “Upcoming Events” section and on Facebook, as soon as I have more concrete details.

I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL. I was a little burnt out and needed to get it all out of my system. I’m gonna try to be less of an absentee blogger from here on out.

Love you guys,
~Bri

Image credit: Examiner.com

Hey, Bay Area readers! I’m packing right this moment for a whirlwind tour of San Francisco (I’ll be there for about a day and a half crashing with the inimitable Tony Dushane – a fellow ex-JW author – and his lovely lady friend, who have been kind enough to put me up for an evening). I’ve never been to SF before; I’m stoked! And I’ve gotten a little advance lovin’ from SF Weekly, for which I’m most appreciative.

If you’d like to see me, get your book signed, or have any questions for me, I’d love to see you at Book Passage this Wednesday night from 6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. I’ll be doing a Q&A with Tony, we’ll be signing copies of our books, and you’ll be able to say that you were at my very first signing ever (OK, I’m *really* nervous about this. Please don’t tomato me. My hair is red enough.)

Book Passage is at 1 Ferry Building, San Francisco, CA 94111. See you there!

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I’ve been jonesing to post the following recent news articles that I found topically relevant recently:

5 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Poor – blue language alert; don’t read this one if you’re sensitive to various euphemisms for anal rape. The author vividly describes the feeling of being effed over by the system…that oh-so-familiar feeling of paying more just to be poor. I have personally experienced all 5 of the items on this list. The article would be hilarious if it didn’t ring so uncomfortably true and describe the vicious Catch-22 of the poverty circle a tad too well, via the typical sardonic excellence we’ve come to expect from Cracked.

San Francisco: New Homeless On Street as Others Find Housing – Despite claims that the recession is ending/has ended, hundreds of “mobile homeless” (like I was) are turning up in San Francisco alone. As fast as longer-term homeless can be rehoused, more are filling the void.

The Silent Jobless – The L.A. Times touches (again) on the vicious poverty cycle that the American economy is stuck in, who is still unemployed despite claims of economic improvement, and why.

* * * * *

Additionally, I want to thank Elaine Ash for her kind words about my book on her blog, and for sharing her own story. Elaine touches on a very important point I’ve alluded to in the past – sure; younger homeless people like me, despite how crappy it is to be homeless, and how difficult it is to dig yourself out of it at any age…still have a pretty fighting chance. We’re young and, in a competitive job market, we often have an edge.

But what about the 40, 50, and 60 year olds who thought they had it made, who have worked hard their entire lives and are now finding themselves without jobs, income, or homes? What about those who should be spending their golden retirement years gardening or playing racquetball or sleeping in after a good 40 years or so of hard work? Haven’t they earned the right to be cared for instead of spending those golden years living out of a car? They’re at a disadvantage when it comes to finding work, despite having a good deal of accrued experience over us young’uns.

Stories like Elaine’s and those of countless other people I’ve heard from need to be publicized. My story is only one perspective, but there are so, so many more to be told. Please check out her blog, hear her story, and lend her a little moral support, at the very least, if you have a couple minutes Thank you again, Elaine, for putting your voice out there.

image credit: Green Grid

So, whenever the blog gets in the news (as it has a couple times over the past couple weeks, due to the book publicity), I get a lot of emails from people offering to send me money, or asking why I don’t have a “donate” button.

So here’s the thing:  I’m not an e-panhandler.  I’ve never had a donation button and never will.  I don’t judge those who do panhandle or feel like they need to ask for money.  There are a lot of people worse off than me, as I have always said, and they need help more.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s a personal decision.  But I’m doing OK.  Not completely where I want to be yet, but things are looking up and have been for some time and getting steadily better.  I have a job I love and a place to stay (which I am grateful for) that is, if somewhat legally tenuous, accommodating and far better than a homeless person staying on the streets or in a vehicle.

I’ve always said, while I and several other “mobile homeless” might be able to bootstrap it, many can’t.  They should be first in line for aid.

So please, if you feel compelled to give, give to your favorite homeless charity.  Or donate your time as a volunteer to a soup kitchen or shelter.  Donate your old clothes, or diapers, or food, or any other number of things which programs for the homeless and poverty-stricken are in desperate need of.  If you need a list of homeless organizations, I can let you know some of my favorites – you need only ask.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m one of the co-founders of World Homeless Action Day, which launched last year and had participants and events in over 100 countries.  My co-founder Jon Glackin and I do not get paid for this, nor do we request donations made out to the World Homeless Action Movement.  Dealing with money makes us both uncomfortable; we prefer to remain transparent and not be able to be accused of misappropriating any funds or using them for ourselves.  We’ve both agreed that refusing to accept/handle funds minimizes the likelihood of being falsely accused of fraud, manipulation, or deceit.  We’d rather money go directly to those on the street, who need it most.

So there you are; if you want to give, please give directly to the organization/charity of your choice (and I would definitely say to research their business practices and reputation to make sure that you feel you are giving to an organization whose tactics, ethics, and goals you are comfortable with).  Or even just buy a homeless person a sandwich if you’re moved to.  Every little bit helps.  WHAM’s job is to raise awareness and get participants involved all over the globe, to get you thinking of homeless people as REAL PEOPLE, and interested in their faces and stories, which vary with each homeless person.

If you *really really really* feel like you want to “donate” to me, buy a copy of the book or hire me for a public speaking engagement or something, if you’d like.  At least then I’ll feel like I’ve given you something in exchange – I’ve put nearly two years of hard work into that book, besides working temp and my 9-5 job.  So that way I can feel like I’ve at least earned your generosity.  I do NOT want any money or other compensation sent directly to me.  Some people think that’s cool, some people call me a dumbass for it and say I should take the money because it could help me, but it’s my own personal feelings about e-panhandling, and has been since the beginning, when I was anonymous.  I’m a huge fan of earning my keep.

Thanks for being awesome people and wanting to make a difference.  I hope you’re all enjoying your Memorial Day weekend!!!  :)

~Bri