A Little Gallows Humor Today…

Book Expo America

…I’m super busy finishing the book this weekend (really!), since there’s 3 weeks to deadline and I’ve been trying to overcome the mental blocks inherent in addressing some of the more painful aspects of my story.  In other words:  I’m trying to just bite the bullet and fecking WRITE THEM DOWN already, even if it hurts.  By the way, the book is being promoted in a couple of weeks at Book Expo America, May 25-27, complete with excerpts and everything.  Scary, right? So, I guess if you’re in NYC that weekend, stop by and check it out?

I’m concentrating so hard on getting that out of the way, I haven’t had much time recently to update the blog, though I’ve still been answering emails from homeless/about to become homeless people and helping out behind the scenes, where I can.

Thus, nothing on homelessness today, although for any fellow ex-JWs who frequent the blog, I did want to quickly post about my friend Kyria’s new Etsy shop.  Kyria is the author of I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed:  Tales from a Jehovah’s Witness Upbringing (which, by the way, they TOTALLY need to release in paperback!!!!!)  I’ve blogged before about her book and how I connected with it.

Well, now Kyria’s expanded into jewelry.  Specifically, apostate jewelry.  I MUST HAVE ONE OF THESE FOR MY CHARM BRACELET:

Yes, that is a keychain/pendant made from old JW literature, emblazoned with “Fuck You, Jehovah’s Witnesses” on it.  Here’s Kyria’s description from her Etsy shop:

Having trouble letting apocalyptic cult members understand how you feel about them? The subtle message of this keychain will help you express your deepest feelings while locking your front door.

Hand-cut and polished Lexan, this piece is a labor of love created by a card-carrying apostate and ex-Jehovah’s Witness. It’s double-sided, so even if it flips over, you will still look super fancy.

The images are taken from creepy old Jehovah’s Witness literature. The words and sentiments are my own.

Each piece is handmade and possesses its own character, soul, and imperfections.

It measures approximately 1.5″ wide by 1.5″ high.

(Since each piece is made from scratch, custom orders will be considered, with any additional fees proportional to how much extra work is needed.)

Great for yard sales, district assemblies, bible studies, or the Memorial.

Personally, I think Kyria’s sitting on an untapped gold mine here.  I haven’t come across any other cult/apostate gear shops yet…she should expand into door mats, messenger bags, T-shirts, etc.

And door knockers.  Like this meme (careful before clicking, hilarious but not suitable for work or young children).

And, if Kyria were to ever run out of ex-Jehovah’s Witness customers with a sense of irony, she could always move on to creating gear for survivors of other cults!  Pass the kool-aid, please!

* * * * *

Coincidentally (or not), it is my little sister’s 24th birthday today.  Happy birthday, Brittany, even though you don’t believe it should be celebrated.  I do love you, and I celebrate the fact that you were born even though you believe I’m a raging heathen.  I will make a birthday wish and blow out a couple of candles for you:  my wish is that one day you truly research everything about your religion, everything that they don’t tell you, and learn to become a free thinker.  Because you do deserve so much better than what they have to offer you.


  1. I once had a JW friend but we lost contact throughout the years but I never did understand their religion especially when it came to business. My friend and I were up for a manager job and she would had gotten the job hands down but due to her religion she refused to work the Nightmare Haunted Boat which allowed me to over take her for the job. Even during the month long event, I begged her to work Nightmare because she really wanted the job. When do you decide you have to put your job ahead of your religion if you want to advance in the business world? I understand there is values & etc but in the business world now a days those values are tested and sometimes you have to put some values of yours aside if you want to move up in the business world. I commended her a lot and respected her for her decision but what I didn’t like is that afterward she complained about not getting the job.

    Anyway, nice job on your blog and can’t wait to read your book when it comes out.


  2. Thank you for your comment! I’m very excited (and nervous) about its release (which is still a ways off, sometime in 2011).

    Sadly, your friend’s story is not uncommon in the Witness world. They are incredibly legalistic (and hypocritical) about petty things like that. They also discourage higher education for their members, besides demanding all of their free time, so advancing in the business world can be very difficult for a JW. Most are never allowed to research the seamier side of their own religion, and shunning is strictly enforced for all members who leave, so it is daunting to leave.


  3. And I think that is what her worries was about. She told me once that she would had no problem managing the Nightmare but was afraid that somebody from JW would she her there and there would be a lot of problems. Of course my comment was “if they are there at the Nightmare, then they would be in trouble too”.

    Is your book due out in three weeks? When is the official launch date for your book?


  4. No, the deadline for me to turn in the complete first draft to the editor is in three weeks, although most of it is finished already :)

    The publish date is sometime in 2011 (not sure when yet), although they will be promoting it from May 25th up until then, I believe.


  5. Hi Bri – congrats on the book, that’s awesome. Just wanted you to know and help pass the word that we have a cool program here in Sarasota, Florida where we are taking homeless people and teaching them to paint. Then they in turn can sell their artwork. It’s working out well and is called the “I Am Home Art Project” — we have a facebook page named that. Would really appreciate it if you’d help spread the word. peace…Brenda

  6. @Bri~ am sending special muses & angels your way to help you with the labor & delivery of this “baby” (aka your manuscript). I know it is going to be completed on time and fabulous in print. Hopefully, your publisher is giving you an editor. That would be a huge help as you progress with the final draft.

    @Brenda, our friend Bob Ballard of The Hearts of Fire Project in California, also has an art program working w/ folks who are homeless. Here’s a link to their site: http://www.heartsoffireproject.org/

  7. PS- Bri, I just came across the following on Scientology and instantly thought of you & your JW family. Scoll down on the site to see this woman talking about her experience:

  8. Hi Brenda, I’ll definitely look into it! Thanks :)

    Hey Cynthia, thanks so much. Fittingly, it’s Mother’s Day and I really need to focus on my “baby”…I read that article you posted a couple of weeks back, it’s very chilling and harrowing. Jehovah’s Witnesses have a lot of similarly creepy and shady stuff going on behind the scenes, much of which even most members don’t know about. I guess that’s where you cross the line from “religion” into “high-control cult”.


  9. Yeah and Hoorah for everyone who evolves past the religion they were born into…… who question ideals and authority. If no one would nothing would change and evolve. For those of you who question your life and your religion and your jobs and your family upbringing and your government and laws and rules and authority and corporate policies in a (mostly) peaceful manner I commend you…. and thank you.

    Revolutionary spirit is a good thing.

  10. Laura W says:

    So, I found your site via an article that was linked on the Yahoo! home page. I decided to take a look and was just browsing for the moment, when I had to stop and read this post because I spotted something referring to Jehovah Witnesses. I actually dated a JW in high school, and it’s mom did her best to try a recruit me into being one as well. All of it just seemed off, though I couldn’t place my finger on it. We broke up about 3 1/2 yrs together, and since then I’ve done a TON of research on the Watchtower and WOW. I’m glad I got out of there when I did! I really do feel like God was watching me during that situation because I got really close to another classmate from high school right around the same time and I don’t know that I would’ve strayed from the Watchtower recruiting if it weren’t for that particular friend being in my life. (She’s my best friend now, and I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon!) I still hope and pray that my ex-fiance (we were engaged when I broke it off) and his new wife will someday ‘see the light’ and realize that the Watchtower is not what they claim to be.

    Wow, that was really long. Sorry. Going to check out your site some more; seems pretty interesting so far!

  11. Just found your site from yahoo as well! Can’t wait to read your book…yeah, my folks are JW’s and my family was raised as JW’s. I am now agnostic and feel religion is Man’s attempt to rationalize reality. Which is chill if that’s what ya need to pass the days. I’m at peace with my parents. They’re pretty level-headed about financial advancement and higher education. They’re work-aholic’s! Religion is left up to interpretation based on your level of guilt. If you are confident and have a healthy mental outlook then cult like behaviors won’t be so appealing…(oops! ramble much?)
    Thanks for going public!

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