One prominent attitude I’ve noticed toward the homeless: Many expect them to give up every last indulgence and every last shred of fun. We should spend all of our time looking for work (never mind if we already DO work, or ARE looking for work), or perhaps standing on a freeway offramp begging for change, or sitting in a government aid office hoping against hope for assistance. We should spend ALL of our time doing this. After all, if we take any light-hearted time to ourselves at all, we must not REALLY want to re-house ourselves.
I should either be working, searching for work, or otherwise appropriately ragged, depressed, and undignified, befitting of my station, is that it? I should give up absolutely everything to prove just how much I deserve a home, and just how sorry I am for whatever I have done that “made” me homeless in the first place.
While I agree that it certainly behooves a homeless individual to spend their time and resources wisely, and set goals and priorities for themselves (mine are to continue working, get a mortgage, and no longer qualify as “homeless”), there is an inherent human need for recreation, for relaxation, for fun. Everyone needs their unwinding time, and that goes doubly for a homeless person, because there is little more stressful than this life. I think this is true whether a homeless individual is spending their own earnings or a check that they receive from the government, because after all, once you give someone anything, particularly money, it is theirs to do with as they please. If they spend it unwisely, well, that’s their problem – it means they may be out of funds later on when they need it for something important, but those are the consequences that they will have to bear; they are adults whether homeless or housed. Poor financial decisions are not limited to the homeless, just as wise financial decisions are not limited to the housed. Priorities are individual, and I do not necessarily believe that the occasional bit of fun should be at the bottom of the heap for anybody, much less that a homeless person should be judged should they occasionally choose it.
This weekend, I dragged my boyfriend to a local two-day Renaissance Faire. Admission was cheap, and the proceeds benefitted equine rescue, the local humane society, and a nonprofit theatre troupe, all some of my favorite causes. While it wasn’t nearly as impressive or packed as the official SoCal Renaissance Faire, I got to gnaw on a freakishly large turkey leg, watch some cool dudes joust on some lovely Percherons (rescued, of course), and enjoy watching Matt stifle his laughter at the overexaggerated British accents, while his (real) English accent clearly didn’t register with nearly anybody, and certainly didn’t seem to impress them.
The next day, we hopped into the car and drove to San Diego to meet with one of our Homeless Tales contributors, Kerry. She is an excellent writer and usually very upbeat, but the past week or so homelessness has been getting to her and she’s been in a bit of a funk. It was great for us to meet her, and let her show us some of the beauty in San Diego, as we picnicked near the water and she fed us delicious organic salad she’d clearly gone to pains to prepare for us. I believe that taking some social time was a bit of a boost for all of us.
A weekend like this one was a much-needed change from my 8:30-5:30 M-F work week. It wasn’t expensive, and yet I’m willing to bet there will be at least some out there who will say “you had no right to spend ANY of your money on fun… hell, you have no right even to HAVE fun. You’re homeless and your sole focus should be housing yourself”.
Such small indulgences, however, are what often keep me from going off the deep end. My boyfriend and I live in a 30′x6′ space together in what is currently a very hot, arid environment. While we love each other and try to make the best of what we have, clearly there are times it is remarkably frustrating to feel so confined, so on top of each other for so long. We have found that when this happens, something as small as taking a trip together to Starbucks, sitting together in an open, air-conditioned environment in overstuffed chairs and just being able to breathe outside of our cramped setup, is enough to refresh us. A simple bit of recreation clears our heads and refocuses us, allows us to remember why we’re doing what we’re doing, and then we can move on and put attention on our goals and priorities once again.
I can’t believe anyone would begrudge this kind of release to anyone, homeless or not.
* * * * *
Here are 10 of my cheap/free ideas for recreation if you are homeless:
1) Public libraries. They’re free, you can stay as long as you like (until closing), and reading is awesome! I’m a huge reader, it’s so easy to lose yourself in a good book and while away the hours. You may even be able to check out books for free (just bring them back on time, undamaged, to prevent fees). Plus, most libraries now have computers for free public internet access, so you can catch up on current events, play some games online, join discussion groups… the opportunities on the Internet are endless.
2) Free concerts/theatre/performances – Check out ads in your local paper or Craigslist. Many nonprofit organizations, coffee houses, and schools host free or super-cheap plays, concerts, and benefits. Some college theatre troupes and bands turn out professional-quality performances at a fraction of the cost. Or perhaps you stumble on an advertisement for something you find completely bizarre or offbeat, like random beatnik poetry or modern dance. Who cares? It’s a chance to expand your horizons, and it’s something to do. Plus, even if the performances are completely awful, that can still be incredibly humorous.
3) Local fairs – Most cities host regular farmers markets, swap meets, conventions, and street fairs. Or perhaps you are close to a County Fair location (entry to these is sometimes free, but more often there is a small fee).
4) Parks – Find your local city or state park. Hike, jog, or just sit on the grass and stare at the geese on the lake. Or bring a library book and read it there. A little zen and some pretty surroundings can go a long way.
5) Free movie screenings – Often, at my local theatres, there are people standing outside handing out free pre-screening tickets. There are also several websites where you can find/request these free tickets, such as filmmetro.com. If you use a website, you may get to choose which movie you get to screen, whereas if you accept tickets from someone outside a theatre, you may be stuck with what they give you. I have taken advantage of this twice (once I even brought about 30 friends and we made a party of it). As a member of a test audience, you get to watch the movie in the theatre before it comes out, and then you fill out a 5-minute survey saying what you liked and didn’t like. Hey, it’s two hours of free air conditioning, and a movie on the big screen. What more do you want?
6) TV show tapings – If you are located near a metro area like L.A. or NYC, where studios tape TV shows and/or talk shows, you can get free tickets to tapings as a studio audience member. Websites like tvtix.com and tvtickets.com are only two of the jillion sites out there where you can order these.
7) Disneyland – If you’re located in the SoCal area, or in Florida, you should know that Disneyland lets you in free on your birthday. You do need an I.D. card for this one, however, so if you don’t have one, you’re out of luck, sorry. You can register for the Disneyland Birthday Club here. It costs nothing and takes about 5 minutes. I’m not sure if they’ll let you in free if you just show up at a ticket window with your I.D. card on your birthday, without registering, so better safe than sorry.
8) Museums – Many museums have super affordable admission and are a nice way to spend a day. You may even be able to find promotions for discounted tickets if you look around online. Many museums offer free admission at least one day of the week, and you can take advantage of this.
9) Art galleries – Art gallery openings tend to be free and even include appetizers and hors d’oeuvres.
10) Literary readings and signings – Both new and well-established authors will go on tour and do readings and signings of their books. Check with your local bookstores for schedules, and then show up and enjoy!
I’m sure there are many, many more free and uber-cheap entertainment/recreation ideas out there. I would love to hear some more ideas, so please feel free to comment with your favorites!
~Bri
Right on the money. The only people saying the de-housed shouldn’t have time out for R & R are people who have never lived the experience. Frankly, I don’t give a damn what they think.
I think that people just love to be pretentious and judgmental. I say that NO ONE except the person living that life really understands their experience, and thus people need to mind their own silly business. Enjoyment of life should be a right granted to everyone.
I tell people jokingly that I’m a ‘bum’ because I’m currently (and voluntarily) unemployed (and I realize how lucky I am, to all those snotty snide ‘oh well you must just LOVE that freedom’ and ‘what DO you do all day’ people). I don’t just sit on my bum all day eating bon bons, but yes, I do relish the freedom that I can experience in terms of my schedule and pastimes. I make damn sure that we live below our means and consistently saving. Once we’re lucky enough to have our own place (we live with my mom), I am planning on furnishing our home with yard sales, using on hand cash rather than credit cards. I guess people have lived so long in debt that they can’t understand how two people can live well on one income while still buying some fun stuff AND saving. That, or they’re jealous and jaded.
On a lighter note, that Renaissance Fair sounds way cool! I’ve never been to one and I hate that. Memphis just isn’t awesome enough, I suppose.
Everyone needs their unwinding time, and that goes doubly for a homeless person, because there is little more stressful than this life.
Ne’er a truer statement was made…
I am often times left in awe that, despite their situation, most – if not all – of the homeless I am acquainted with are still able to laugh. It is a tribute to the human spirit.
Agreed – everyone needs their fun. Especially those without the basics that others tend to take for granted, like a house or a job. No one should *ever* have to justify enjoying themselves and having a bit of fun!
Not homeless but broke a few years back this post sounds just like all the stuff I used to do around NY, I’d only spend the minimum in cheap food and subway ride back home.
FYI to all readers, Disneyland DOES let you in free on your birthday if you don’t register on their site – I did it!
Really excellent blog. Thank you for sharing the world from your vantage point.
Wow. I said the exact same thing a few weeks ago.
“If I say I’m sorry, would that make it okay? Will someone please tell me what I need to say because I’m not sure what I did.”
Thanks for this blog… I look forward reading more!
Best Wishes,
Elyssa Durant
Nashville, TN
I’ve been homeless by choice for more than twenty years. I find it a lot more freeing than living in a box on a foundation. I live in a small delivery truck that I turned into an RV and travel all over the United States. I am also a flea market vendor, selling every weekend at flea markets and swap meets, and make a pretty good living. I’ve never stood on the side of an off ramp begging for donations and I have five days off every week to do what I want.
Life is good!
Add to your list of free things to do: book stores, such as Barnes and Noble, Borders Books and Books a Million. I’ve spent many, many hours sitting inside, often from open to close, and I always bring my travel mug full of ice and Pepsi (mixed half with water to limit my sugar intake!) and they have never said anything to me about bringing it inside. A fanny pack full of snacks is good, too. And I can learn about almost anything, for free! Ya don’t have to buy the books if ya read them there.
Anymore, I spend a lot of time online, even have my own websites and blogs, and there are a lot of places to get free wifi.
Long as you wash up on a frequent basis and wash your clothes once in awhile, nobody will even know you are homeless. We’re not bums, just people like anyone else, but without the restricting confines and costs of buildings.
I live as well as anyone in an expensive condo, only my house can take me anywhere I choose to go…
I like your blog. You do a good job. I’ll be back.
You are awesome
I was homeless a few years ago, and, in hindsight, it was one of the best experiences of my life because I learned so much about whats really important- love and positive outlook on life!
You listed a lot of the things that I did in LA during that time! so much fun! :0)
Just a question…is Matt Scottish or English?
About 6 months ago, I was illegally evicted from my home. When I was behind on rent, my one roommate used to eye up the handful of expensive items I still had – namely, my Wii and my iPod – and threaten to sell them when I was out. She’d also try to tell me reasons why my laptop wasn’t absolutely necessary….even though I was taking classes at the time.
Ummm, no. I get it, I’m broke and behind on rent, but she never seemed to grasp that my finances didn’t mean that she got to start mentally auctioning off all of my things.
hi Bri, i am a friend of Metis Rebel and have read Homeless Tales for a couple of months now. mostly for Rebels stuff but now everyone elses too. i’m in canada but i caught your piece on cnn and i thought you did very, very well. it must have been a bit of a streatch to have all those people and equipt in your space but you came out doing and talking just fine. congratulations on your new gig and i will look forward to reading more of your stuff later. best of luck.
Great Post! I really appreciate this, can very well be applied to anybody with “Low Funds”.
Homeless? With a camper to live in, a truck to drive, a dog you can afford to feed and a laptop to blog with? Most of the truly homeless people would love to trade places with you. I have been homeless, hungry, cold and broke. You don’t appear to be any of these. I believe you owe an apology to the real homeless people out there who have no roof to sleep under, no food for themselves (never mind a mastiff.) How much does he eat a day? More than many people get I would say.
Homeless? You don’t know the meaning of the word and yet you are offering tips to the homeless?
BTW…Although I don’t like Walmart any more than you do…they have every right to tow your truck and trailer off their property and yet you use this incident to further your new found online stardom.
Give me a break.
Dear Lance,
Thank you for your comment on my blog.
The federal definition of homelessness does indeed cover those living out of trailers and other habitats unsuitable for long-term living. You can read more about the federal definition of homelessness here. http://www.hud.gov/homeless/definition.cfm. Clearly, living out of a trailer with no utilities, facilities, or stability is not suitable as a permanent and sustainable lifestyle. You might ask if the thousands of individuals staying in homeless shelters are truly homeless – after all, they too have a roof over their head and a basic form of shelter, do they not? Also, as has been pointed out, for 6 months I have not (and still am not) staying in a legal, up-to-code domicile. This means that my situation is tenuous and precarious at best.
I am only one aspect of homelessness. Clearly, as I have always maintained, there are those who are in more dire circumstances than me and are in need of proper assistance and treatment. I share my experiences with homelessness to help bring awareness to ALL homeless individuals of various backgrounds, and that includes those struggling with drug abuse and mental illness, as well as those living in shelters and rough sleeping. ALL homeless individuals should have access to the help that they need, and should be regarded as people, rather than as “bums”. The fact that there are varying degrees of struggles and resources that different individuals have access to, however, does not make any one more or less homeless than the other.
Studies estimate that around 60% or more of the homeless population is in my circumstances, living out of a shelter or car, and continuing either to work or search for work. The “real” homeless people to whom you refer have been nothing but kind and supportive to me on my journey. This includes current and former substance abusers, prostitutes, those struggling with mental illness, shelter residents, and rough sleepers, as well as former blue-collar and white-collar workers. I’m afraid that they don’t seem to feel that I owe them an apology for having the nerve to lose nearly everything, and reversing my own situation while continuing to try and call attention to their plight, which has always been my goal. I do not elevate myself above those with different circumstances, nor feel that I am more deserving of help than they. If anything, I wish to help instigate change in America’s policies towards the homeless, which are dismal. Waiting lists for transitional housing have been closed, shelters are overflowing, and there are less options to suit more homeless people by the day. As you are in Canada, perhaps you are aware that your country, as well as the UK, is far more effective at handling homelessness than the United States.
I do agree with you that Walmart has the right to ask anyone to leave that they like. However, towing a homeless woman without warning after giving her verbal, in-person permission to stay as long as she needs to… is clearly not right.
I also do not apologize for utilizing resources I came by pre-homelessness (i.e., laptop, phone) to reverse my situation. Countless homeless individuals were smart enough to hold onto these very resources when they became homelessness, and use them intelligently.
Best Regards,
~Bri
Bri,
Well, I have survived and done well for myself after being homeless so a little touchy on the subject. But, I will choose to trust and give you the benefit of the doubt. I don’t however, agree with the government’s description of homelessness. A trailer IS suitable for long term living. Believe me, I was in heaven when I finally got to live in a trailer instead of under an overpass. I am now the owner of a successful business and a nice house. If you are truly in the dire straights you say you are, I wish you good luck and hope you can help a few along the way. drop me a line if I can help in anyway.
Lance
Perspective – it’s all in the perspective of people. Tell employers you’re full-timing in your trailer, but now seeking a permanent address.
)
I’m also in California. My hubby is employed by the State. Three people within his dept. will be laid-off shortly. If that happens to him, now five years from retirement, we’ll have to leave our home of 18 years (and newly remodeled after living with major builder-caused issues all that time) and become full-timers in our motorhome! We’re grateful, now, that we have it to fall back on. We were wanting to try full-timing in five years – never would have considered the possibility of *having to* just a year ago.
I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and thank you for all that you’ve shared with your readers. Good luck to you and Matt in all that you do.
Deb
Interesting spin on your blog. While I am sure your situation seems dire – you have more resources than a lot of homeless people. You are educated, literate, still have the good ole American spirit of not giving up while seeking employment, a computer, a vehicle, money from strangers, and your sanity.
I view your situation more in terms of how to live cheaply than classic homelessness. You have HOPE (see all the things you still have above – most importantly, you still have your drive and your intellect- which means you will be out of your situation soon – all you need is a job).
Classic homelessness shares very little in common with you – other than the obvious geography (or lack of). These people normally have given up – have no hope – have lost their drive – a lot are unemployable – and havent worked in years, usually suffer from alcoholism or drug addiction, etcetc.
While I get your “homelessness” – yours is geography – the others have difficulties so deep – it takes years to get them stabilized.
Again, your blog is a cute spin – maybe spend some of your time giving back to the chronically homeless – if you are interested in “helping” the homeless – you have to know them.
I would know – I was homeless once and now work for one.
Karen
Hi, Bri–
I, too, am in the same spectrum of homelessness in which you find yourself, among the “precariously housed.” Full-time employment may not be enough when trying to get out of motels and into an apartment. Due to the nature of my employment as a college-educated professional, I find that a lot of the part-time, evening opportunities will not consider me, probably because of an erroneous belief that I woud quit the extra job as soon as possible. So not true!
You have impressed me with what you have been able to accomplish in these few short months. I stumbled upon your blog in February, right after you started publishing. In my opinion, the willingness to be publicly identified as being in your circumstances, and the many connections you have made, are something you should be proud of and always treasure. Many people would rather be invisible, and you have taken the opposite position, to great reward.
Coincidentally, my parents were JWs up until my early childhood, and my Mom would try to get re-involved time and again over the years. I never had a birthday party, even though my parents were “worldly” and not in “the Truth,” our parents gave us presents at Christmas but we couldn’t have a tree/lights on the house, etc. I know many readers would probably think “Oh, waaah!” not realizing how these ordinary events, or lack of them, affect one’s feelings of belonging.
Congratulations on pulling victory from the jaws of defeat. You rock!
I’m so glad that you posted this.
First, go have fun! It is more important to be happy and have a great time than it is to worry about what others think…and you definitely seem to have that down.
Second, thank you for the suggestions. I am not homeless, but definitely struggling financially and am glad to see that you have fun things posted that are free/cheap. :] Thank you thank you thank you!
I am from Scotland in the United Kingdom, and i just saw your story onSky news.
I think you are a very inspirational young woman and any employer would be lucky to have you work for them.
You have shown that someone who through no fault of their own can find themselves on the streets with nothing.
Your strength of character shone through on the segment i watched, and i could`nt resist the urge to let you know you will be an inspiration to many people not just the young, so never give up. good luck.
Beautiful post…Never been homeless, thank god, but have been very close over the years (one good illness or car breakdown away at the moment. :-\) and YES! Those “little things” like occasional fun can be so refreshing!
To add some cheap or free suggestions, mostly common sense:
1. A two dollar set of coloring book and crayons can work wonders…Yes I’m silly, buy it indulges the inner child and is oddly calming.
2. Come to think of it…many kids toys available at the dollar store can help “indulge” your inner child, if you have a dollar extra (I know, believe me…harder to come by than some people think.) For a buck, though, my fiance and I came up with a made-up game with toy soldiers, a piece of paper and some bottle caps…and had more fun than if we’d paid $20+ for a board game.
3. Free readings by authors and other local free events…Usually at a library but bookstores do these too. Our local smoke shop runs free poetry readings, drum circles, hikes, and hip hop improv nights.
4. Dance in the rain…and don’t give a crap who’s lookin’
5. A good conversation with someone you know or someone you meet…Whether it be to complain, to laugh, to share joy or sorry…nothing can beat that human connection.
Mucho good luck to you at the new internship…and sending wishes for your dream home!
i am a 38 yr old female from uppermiddle tn. i
am currantly homeless. i had a car accident 12-17-08 that wasn’t my fault. i was working for elmo greer & sons driving a 777 cat. which i became state certified to drive. you should google 777′s so you’ll see what i’m talking about. anyway i was able to stay self sustained for 7 months. my savings was gone by that point. i was still in the denial faze so i hadn’t applied for disability. my thoughts were i still needed time to heal. then i could go back to work. so after i couldn’t afford to pay the bills anylonger i moved in with my very selfish brother. at the time i thought he was returning the favor from when he and his family needed a place i was there. but after being there a couple of months and him coming up with the ways he would bennifit from the settlement i’ll get after the surgeries i need. but he didn’t know that it can take a year or more after i moved in to recieve it. so he starts saying how he needs a 2 car garage and that i could have it built and add an apartment on top. then i could live there for 3 yrs and pay my own utilities. after the 3 yrs i’d have to start paying him rent. i told him he was out of his mind and that when ever i do settle i’d buy myself a place . he started bothering me almost daily to go ahead and settle that he wanted his house back. just so you know i stayed in my room unless i used the bathroom or cooked. i tried to be as invisible as possible. i have a friend who pays my phone and car ins. and sends me $100.00 every month so i can get gas for my appts. and prescriptions co=pays. my brother and his wife knew this. i was waiting for my monthly allotment which should’ve come on a friday. by monday i still hadn’t recieved it and was talking to my 10 yr old niece and had mentioned the letter i was waiting on. she said it had come on friday and since i was gone to an appointment she gave it to her mother. which her mother denies. so anyway they stole the money and with my brother constantly riding me i could’t mentally take it any longer and moved into my tiny car. i have been living in it about a month, the pain stays at an 8 out of 10 with meds. there are no programs, churches that can help. i get foodstamps so i’m not hungry. my parents have my oyher bro. and his family living with them so there is no rom. they said if i could some how get a camper they would let me put it on their property. they already have hook-ups. if i could get a camper it woud get me out of this car and i’d be able to get my surgeries and have a stable place to recuperate, once thats done then i could settle with the ins. co. and get on with my life. i have 3 disks in lowest part of my back that are almost completly gone and 5 in my neck that are just a little better. if you could help with a decent camper this can help emensly. thanx c j
These are the greatest ideas, EVER, thanks for sharing!! I’m not homeless, but super broke (more on that later), but these are ideas that I can use as my friends always want to do something that costs money and I can rarely go, and haven’t been able to think of free things to do for fun. Thank you thank you thank you!
And I totally agree – it seems like when you’re homeless (or without steady employment as is my case), people expect you to spend all your time looking for work. Any recreation or “splurge” on maybe getting your hair done or a new outfit once in an entire year is considered foolish and wrong by those with stable jobs and/or stable living situations. Anyhow, I hear ya girl!
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