Note: Sept. 1st, the Girl’s Guide to Homelessness was down for about 6 hours.  Not sure if the server was overloaded by traffic or what, but I’m so sorry if you couldn’t get here!  Please feel free to come back again and comment/e-mail 

Hi all!

Elle.com has offered me the forum to blog on their website, in addition to my internship with E. Jean Carroll (which starts tomorrow over at AskEJean.com).  I hope to use it to continue advocating for homelessness, as well as addressing lighter topics along the line of fashion and lifestyle.  I have already caused something of a stir over there, it would seem, and a little controversy, which is fantastic – I care less about whether people love me or hate me, than I do about actually getting people talking about homelessness, and challenging prejudices, seeing the people and stories behind ridiculous slurs like “bum”.

Associated Press has just released an article on the story, so Matt and I are super-hyped about that, and bracing for whatever is to come.  This is all just overwhelming and insanity and has kind of sent me reeling, ever since I caught wind of it from an awesome blog called SaveTheAssistants.com.

I have received a TON of emails and comments from people who have been following the story, been inspired in some way, or had some concerns/questions.  Please know that I read each and every one and am in the process of responding – it’s a real mountain of stuff for me to wade through, along with everything else going on!

Thanks so much for your continued support, and for taking an interest in homelessness!

Cheers,

~Bri

P.S.  Yes, I’m well aware that the photographer’s odd perspective in this pic makes Matt look like a Munchkin and Fezzik like a Black Lab, at biggest… They’re not.  Matt is actually much taller than me, and Fez is a beefcake with a big blocky head.

Wooooooooot!  E. Jean got back to me (thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!); my internship starts Sept. 1st!  Best of all, she was kind enough to tailor it to my circumstances by making it an hour a day, 6 days a week, so I still should be able to work a regular job (which is fantastic, since this week I’ve had several places express interest – tomorrow I’m interviewing as Executive Assistant at The Alzheimer’s Association, yay for nonprofit work!  Also have had interest expressed by a celebrity author/animal rights activist (PA), aerospace company (EA) and medical management company (EA).

Sooooo… things are looking up!  Which is great, because it cost quite a bit to fix my car (just finished today) and now Matt and I are running incredibly low on funds (although much better than we would be, thanks to the super-generous people who sent us donations), but it doesn’t even matter right now because I’m so ecstatic!  I have the awesomest internship that will make my CV look fantastic, and I’m likely to get a decent-paying  job within the week 

Poor Matt.  He’s been such a trouper.  I woke him up this morning gasping/screaming/flailing madly, having stumbled upon my own story on Save The Assistants (awesome blog run by awesome people; I highly recommend checking it out!)  Poor guy bolted upright all bleary-eyed and panicked, terrified that something was horribly, deathly wrong.  He was a very good sport about it though, and he’s very happy for me, though I’ve been ignoring him all day in favor of job applications, internship freakouts on FB and Twitter, and picking up propane/milk for us.  So I think I should probably sign off now and go give him some attention and cuddles.

Cheers and much love to my readers!

~Bri

Holy shyte!  http://www.elle.com/content/view/full/325607

It would seem I’m almost a month late to the party, but remember that reality show I applied to waaaaay back, I think in April-ish?  The advice columnist one that I totally bombed?  It was for a competition whose prize included an internship with Elle Magazine’s own E. Jean (winner in my books of Awesomest Feisty Redhead EVAAAAAR – runner up is Judge Marilyn Milian of People’s Court).

Well, I wrote a quasi-humorous appeal to E. Jean after my Utter Fail, and it turns out that she wrote back!  Or rather, she published my note in her column, and responded with some awesome advice as well as an offer of a four-month telecommuting internship (one hour a day, six days a week) working for her!  Which is absolute amazingness and insanity!!!!!!!

So, now I’m panicking, hoping that I didn’t absolutely botch things by not finding out about this sooner… The first I read of it was today, and the column was published back on July 24th.  With all the setbacks Matt and I have been besought by lately, I haven’t had as much time to spend online, and the time I have had has been spent looking for work nonstop.

I am absolutely ready and raring to go, if the offer hasn’t yet been rescinded.  I shot an e-mail to E. Jean and am crossing my fingers, toes, eyes (everything crossable) that she isn’t completely offended that I didn’t answer back earlier, which of course I totally would have if I had known!  This is seriously a super-amazing opportunity, andI’m praying that I haven’t blown it (and believe me, when you’re an agnostic atheist, praying only comes in those rare hours of utter despair – i.e., when you really really really want a favor).

So E. Jean, if you get my e-mail or read this, a zillion bajillion thanks for the incredible offer and I would love to accept, assuming you haven’t yet written me off.

(……..squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!)

~Bri

So many wonderful people have asked/insisted that I let them know where/how to donate to help get me out of this jam.  I hate feeling like an e-panhandler and said “no thank you” to more people than I can count, but it’s a tribute to just how kind-hearted my readers are that they just won’t take no for an answer.

So, if you really would like to help, please PayPal donations to mdbarnes@hotmail.co.uk, or you can snail mail them to:  P.O. Box 1242, Brea, CA  92822-1242.  If you absolutely require my full name because you need to make out a check or money order, please contact me privately at info@girlsguidetohomelessness.com.  I get really nervous about giving out all of my info online.

Also, many have asked where to send expressions of outrage to Walmart.

You can call the Walmart Ethics line at:  1-800-WM-ETHIC

You can e-mail Walmart using their online form here:  http://walmartstores.com/contactus/feedback.aspx

You can snail-mail Walmart’s corporate headquarters at:  Walmart Stores, Inc., 702 SW 8th Street, Bentonville, Arkansas 72716-8611

Again, thank you so much to all of the kind readers who are so concerned for Matt and I!  All who offer assistance to us, please let me know who you are so I can send you a hand-written thank you card from the two of us.  We wish that we could do more, and we just want to make sure that you know how grateful we are.

* * * * *

And now for updates… hi all!  I’m so sorry I haven’t been around a few days to let everyone know what’s going on.  Things have just been crazy and I haven’t had the time.  The turbocharger in my car decided to give out on the freeway on the way to an interview Thursday.  Luckily, the car continued to run until I got to the interview.  Afterwards, I went to a couple of autobody shops on the same street and was advised that the car should make it “home”, but not much further than that.  The last 7 miles of the way back, the car suddenly started making a grinding noises in addition to the high-pitched screaming whine of the shot turbocharger.  By the time I arrived at my destination, blue smoke was billowing out of the exhaust pipe.  Just barely made it.

The thing that bugs me most about this is that the car is only 4 years old and has only 56K miles on it (I should also point out that I’ve only had it for 2 years and only put 20K of those miles on it – I don’t drive my car hard or far at all).  NOTHING should go wrong with a car that new and with that few miles on it, much less something major like the turbocharger.

So now, a mechanic friend has been kind enough to locate a part for me.  The part is very expensive (but still about half the cost the autobody shop wanted to charge); with labor, it will cost at least the same amount to fix my car as it will to get the trailer out (the cost of which is increasing daily).  If we can manage to get the truck/trailer out of impound, we have been offered a place on private property to park it for very little money, so that is our goal.  However, the cost is increasing by $80 daily so we need to come up with a plan quickly.  We have heard nothing from Walmart yet.

However, job prospects are looking less-than-godawful.  Despite reading in today’s L.A. Times that unemployment in California has skyrocketed to 11.9% as the national rate declines to 9.4% (a post-WWII high for the state), I seem to be getting relatively decent results interview-wise.  Before the recession/depression we’re in now, I never had trouble getting jobs.  EVER.  I landed every interview I applied for, and was offered every job that I ever interviewed for.  It took me a matter of weeks or even days to find a new job.  Life was good.  But then, after layoffs, over the progress of 8 months of searching I landed only two interview requests (one of which offered me the job).  However, the past five days I have stayed up all day and most of the evenings (usually finally conking out around 4 a.m.) applying to hundreds of positions and have actually received 5 or 6 responses so far.  Besides the interview on Thursday (in West Covina), I now have one on Monday (in San Diego) and one on Tuesday (in Irvine).  Yes, I’m applying all over SoCal.  Please cross your fingers for me!  We were doing so well; we had a “cushion” of savings and were hoping to soon find an apartment, but then came the issues with the truck/trailer/car, the cushion vanished practically overnight and we’re back to square one.

So… all positive vibes are much appreciated.  Most of all, we are grateful for the outpouring of moral support we have received.  Thanks again to all.

Cheers!

~Bri (and Matt)

So, my trailer has been towed, along with all of my belongings in it, despite the fact that I ostensibly *had permission* to park there as long as I wanted from Walmart’s general manager.  This permission was obtained both over the phone and in person.

In the time that I have parked my trailer at Walmart, I have been quiet, courteous, polite, and kept to myself.  I have not littered, I have not bothered customers.  I have gone to work daily, and with my earnings I have bought products from Walmart nearly on a daily basis.  I have purchased food and supplies from Walmart.  I have cashed my payroll checks (for a fee) at Walmart.  I have a Walmart debit card, which I reload (also for a fee) with MoneyPaks purchased at, yes, Walmart.

On my blog I have previously praised Walmart for their kindness to the homeless, in these rough times where there are so many of them, and the prevailing attitude is “you have to go somewhere else, I don’t know where you’re allowed to go, but you can’t stay here”.  I have praised what I assumed was the carrying on of the humanitarian spirit of Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart.  Sam Walton was well known as a philanthropic individual, and one who made his parking lots available to nomads and travelers in campers.  I was thrilled to see that, whatever other negative press or controversy Walmart might inspire, they were at least providing a very noble service to the homeless, who have overwhelmingly attempted to repay them by patronizing their stores.

So imagine my surprise and frustration when I arrived at Walmart only to find my truck and trailer gone.  I frantically called the police department and was redirected to city towing.  The dispatcher who answered the phone informed me that it was the weekend and nobody could help me until Monday.  Upon calling back today, I was told that it will now cost in the vicinity of $1K to pick up the truck and trailer (they are counting them as two separate vehicles).  In addition, I am being charged an additional $80 per day that they are not picked up, for the both of them.  Apparently, there is also a $70 DMV lien placed on each vehicle when they haven’t been picked up in 72 hours, so I will have to pay that too upon pickup, despite the fact that I attempted to call over the weekend but was told there was nothing that can be done.

I have contacted Steve Binder of San Diego Homeless Court, hoping that he can point me to some resources in Orange County that can help me.  I will also be contacting Walmart HQ to see how much responsibility they plan on accepting in this matter, as I had previously explained my situation to them and been permitted to park in their lot.  I hate giving negative press to anyone, but I will definitely make a fuss about this – this is my shelter, these are my belongings.  My books.  My clothes.  My dishes and glassware (which are likely smashed to pieces now, as the trailer was not prepared to be moved and I had not tied down my boxes).

It is a sad day when a business which is the last resort for so many homeless people is willing to alienate those who have been loyal customers for years by having their life stolen from them.  Stolen only to be retrieved via a fee of hundreds or thousands of dollars that (hello!) they obviously don’t have.

So, Wally World, see this big middle finger I’m extending?  That’s for you, unless you fix the immense damage you have done to my life and my property.  If Sam Walton could see Walmart corporate today, he’d be ashamed and disgusted.

(P.S. Yes, mom, I used the horrific “f u” hand gesture.  Yes, we know, I’m a Satanic apostate and Jehoover will strike me dead, blah blegh blargh blah.  Get over it).

One prominent attitude I’ve noticed toward the homeless:  Many expect them to give up every last indulgence and every last shred of fun.  We should spend all of our time looking for work (never mind if we already DO work, or ARE looking for work), or perhaps standing on a freeway offramp begging for change, or sitting in a government aid office hoping against hope for assistance.  We should spend ALL of our time doing this.  After all, if we take any light-hearted time to ourselves at all, we must not REALLY want to re-house ourselves.

I should either be working, searching for work, or otherwise appropriately ragged, depressed, and undignified, befitting of my station, is that it?  I should give up absolutely everything to prove just how much I deserve a home, and just how sorry I am for whatever I have done that “made” me homeless in the first place.

While I agree that it certainly behooves a homeless individual to spend their time and resources wisely, and set goals and priorities for themselves (mine are to continue working, get a mortgage, and no longer qualify as “homeless”), there is an inherent human need for recreation, for relaxation, for fun.  Everyone needs their unwinding time, and that goes doubly for a homeless person, because there is little more stressful than this life.  I think this is true whether a homeless individual is spending their own earnings or a check that they receive from the government, because after all, once you give someone anything, particularly money, it is theirs to do with as they please.  If they spend it unwisely, well, that’s their problem – it means they may be out of funds later on when they need it for something important, but those are the consequences that they will have to bear; they are adults whether homeless or housed.  Poor financial decisions are not limited to the homeless, just as wise financial decisions are not limited to the housed.  Priorities are individual, and I do not necessarily believe that the occasional bit of fun should be at the bottom of the heap for anybody, much less that a homeless person should be judged should they occasionally choose it.

This weekend, I dragged my boyfriend to a local two-day Renaissance Faire.  Admission was cheap, and the proceeds benefitted equine rescue, the local humane society, and a nonprofit theatre troupe, all some of my favorite causes.  While it wasn’t nearly as impressive or packed as the official SoCal Renaissance Faire, I got to gnaw on a freakishly large turkey leg, watch some cool dudes joust on some lovely Percherons (rescued, of course), and enjoy watching Matt stifle his laughter at the overexaggerated British accents, while his (real) English accent clearly didn’t register with nearly anybody, and certainly didn’t seem to impress them.

The next day, we hopped into the car and drove to San Diego to meet with one of our Homeless Tales contributors, Kerry.  She is an excellent writer and usually very upbeat, but the past week or so homelessness has been getting to her and she’s been in a bit of a funk.  It was great for us to meet her, and let her show us some of the beauty in San Diego, as we picnicked near the water and she fed us delicious organic salad she’d clearly gone to pains to prepare for us.  I believe that taking some social time was a bit of a boost for all of us.

A weekend like this one was a much-needed change from my 8:30-5:30 M-F work week.  It wasn’t expensive, and yet I’m willing to bet there will be at least some out there who will say “you had no right to spend ANY of your money on fun… hell, you have no right even to HAVE fun.  You’re homeless and your sole focus should be housing yourself”.

Such small indulgences, however, are what often keep me from going off the deep end.  My boyfriend and I live in a 30′x6′ space together in what is currently a very hot, arid environment.  While we love each other and try to make the best of what we have, clearly there are times it is remarkably frustrating to feel so confined, so on top of each other for so long.  We have found that when this happens, something as small as taking a trip together to Starbucks, sitting together in an open, air-conditioned environment in overstuffed chairs and just being able to breathe outside of our cramped setup, is enough to refresh us.  A simple bit of recreation clears our heads and refocuses us, allows us to remember why we’re doing what we’re doing, and then we can move on and put attention on our goals and priorities once again.

I can’t believe anyone would begrudge this kind of release to anyone, homeless or not.

* * * * *

Here are 10 of my cheap/free ideas for recreation if you are homeless:

1)  Public libraries. They’re free, you can stay as long as you like (until closing), and reading is awesome!  I’m a huge reader, it’s so easy to lose yourself in a good book and while away the hours.  You may even be able to check out books for free (just bring them back on time, undamaged, to prevent fees).  Plus, most libraries now have computers for free public internet access, so you can catch up on current events, play some games online, join discussion groups… the opportunities on the Internet are endless.

2)  Free concerts/theatre/performances – Check out ads in your local paper or Craigslist.  Many nonprofit organizations, coffee houses, and schools host free or super-cheap plays, concerts, and benefits.  Some college theatre troupes and bands turn out professional-quality performances at a fraction of the cost.  Or perhaps you stumble on an advertisement for something you find completely bizarre or offbeat, like random beatnik poetry or modern dance.  Who cares?  It’s a chance to expand your horizons, and it’s something to do.  Plus, even if the performances are completely awful, that can still be incredibly humorous.

3)  Local fairs – Most cities host regular farmers markets, swap meets, conventions, and street fairs.  Or perhaps you are close to a County Fair location (entry to these is sometimes free, but more often there is a small fee).

4)  Parks – Find your local city or state park.  Hike, jog, or just sit on the grass and stare at the geese on the lake.  Or bring a library book and read it there.  A little zen and some pretty surroundings can go a long way.

5)  Free movie screenings – Often, at my local theatres, there are people standing outside handing out free pre-screening tickets.  There are also several websites where you can find/request these free tickets, such as filmmetro.com.  If you use a website, you may get to choose which movie you get to screen, whereas if you accept tickets from someone outside a theatre, you may be stuck with what they give you.  I have taken advantage of this twice (once I even brought about 30 friends and we made a party of it).  As a member of a test audience, you get to watch the movie in the theatre before it comes out, and then you fill out a 5-minute survey saying what you liked and didn’t like.  Hey, it’s two hours of free air conditioning, and a movie on the big screen.  What more do you want?

6)  TV show tapings – If you are located near a metro area like L.A. or NYC, where studios tape TV shows and/or talk shows, you can get free tickets to tapings as a studio audience member.  Websites like tvtix.com and tvtickets.com are only two of the jillion sites out there where you can order these.

7) Disneyland – If you’re located in the SoCal area, or in Florida, you should know that Disneyland lets you in free on your birthday.  You do need an I.D. card for this one, however, so if you don’t have one, you’re out of luck, sorry.  You can register for the Disneyland Birthday Club here. It costs nothing and takes about 5 minutes.  I’m not sure if they’ll let you in free if you just show up at a ticket window with your I.D. card on your birthday, without registering, so better safe than sorry.

8)  Museums – Many museums have super affordable admission and are a nice way to spend a day.  You may even be able to find promotions for discounted tickets if you look around online.  Many museums offer free admission at least one day of the week, and you can take advantage of this.

9)  Art galleries – Art gallery openings tend to be free and even include appetizers and hors d’oeuvres.

10)  Literary readings and signings – Both new and well-established authors will go on tour and do readings and signings of their books.  Check with your local bookstores for schedules, and then show up and enjoy!

I’m sure there are many, many more free and uber-cheap entertainment/recreation ideas out there.  I would love to hear some more ideas, so please feel free to comment with your favorites!

~Bri