My Face (Sort Of) Is Online

Well, the video interview with Mark Horvath of Hardly Normal is live here, as of today.

Some things you should know about me:

1) I do not, in fact, have a double chinned turkey neck in real life. I actually do have a jaw. I swear to God (Mark, please, please back me up on this!!!!!) I think that may just be the most unflattering angle on me ever, combined with the fact that the camera adds 20 lbs. (but why did it have to add them all in my face?!?!?!) So, yeah… kinda sorta mortified right now and kicking into damage control mode, because for all of my alleged stellar qualities, modesty is not one of them. I wish I could say it was, but… sorry. Like the vast majority of women, I desperately want to look pretty, especially in front of a zillion strangers :~\

2) I’m watching this video (with the sound down at work, so I still haven’t yet gotten the full horrific impact of this thing – what does my voice sound like?!) and I am realizing that I’m incredibly twitchy when I’m nervous. I’m gesticulating and fidgeting a lot. This bugs me incredibly, which means I’ll have to pay more attention to how I carry myself. Sigh.

3) My hair… Oh, god, my hair.

4) Lest you think I hate everything about myself and am just ragging and wallowing in self-pity, I do think that I have a pretty killer smile. And my St. Patty’s Day Faery T-shirt kicks major arse (thanks for the present, Aishwarya!) So there.

5) Obviously the cat is out of the bag – my first name is Brianna (they accidentally used my full first name instead of just ~B~). Well… fuck. Please, if you must call me anything, call me Bri. All of my friends do. I like it better than Brianna, anyway.

*whew* I shall now run and hide my face in my hands. Right after putting myself back on the liquid diet (this is Orange County, after all). Jamba Juice shall thank me.

Comments

  1. I’ve just seen the video and I have to say you’re amazing. You’re so grounded and well balanced about what is a very scary situation – I hope your three wishes come true and if I had a wish it would be I could be your fairy godmother and grant those wishes…….Oh, just to let you know you’re not fat and hair looks fine in the video … what people see is you great personality

  2. Ahahaha, thank you for the compliments, Vicki! You are too, too kind. I feel a little bit better about feeling so exposed in front of a bunch of people ;)

  3. Blinky St. James says:

    Hey, you look good! I’ve been on a few TV stations and stuff and I look terrible (Hair’s a mess, the rest of me’s a mess…) It was a really good video. :)

  4. Hi, Blinky!I want to see what you look like, got any links to your videos? How did your Loch Ness drawing come out?I swear, since my face is already out there, tonight I’m totally taking a picture of myself and posting it on the blog… I come out slightly better in photos than on film :)

  5. Talk about surprises… I actually read Horvath’s post about you on Change.org’s End Homelessness blog before I read here… and was thought to myself: “Oh-Oh. I wonder if she knows he used her full name instead of just her initial?”I understand your reasoning for wanting a bit of anonymity – after all, there are some dingbats out there who will judge you simply because of the word “homeless” rather than your own merits.Anyway… keep pressing onward.Best of luck with the job and everything else.

  6. Yeah… in any case, at least they just used my first name and not my last… it’s kind of like “Oh, well”. :~\Thanks for the encouragement!~B~

  7. first of all, you’re beautiful! i’m reading 1, 2 and 3 and i’m thinking, “girl, if you could see what other people see in you…” for real.i met mark through facebook or blogging, can’t remember which, and follow him on twitter, too, and that’s how i found his video and your blog. i’m so glad i did.i have a good friend who’s been living in her car for over a year. i thought of her right away when i started watching the video. she is beautiful and resilient and strong. so are you. i love your transparency and your honesty and your willingness to share your wisdom and your reality — and i know it’s going to impact other people. i’m posting the video to my blog now, and linking you. i really want to hug you, but you’re a long way away, so i’m praying for God to send somebody else to hug you for me. ;)

  8. Anonymous says:

    B, I found your blog through Mark also. I don’t know what to say, but I want to say that I’ll be following your story through your blog, praying for you, and please continue writing! You are a wonderful writer and I’m glad you are sharing your story. I hope it helps others and I hope your online blog followers can be an encouragment for you in some way.Jessica

  9. Praying for you daily now.

  10. Blinky St. James says:

    Here is a video that was on the news around here…I could only here the reporter talking though. We’re mute. :/ http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Homeless_Teen_Uses_Blog_to_Reach_Out_Bay_Area.html (Also if you go to ABH (my blog about homelessness) the header is a picture of what I pretty much look like all the time. :P )And a better picture of me (haha) http://theblinkyblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/me-with-pink-hair.htmlHehe, thanks for asking! xD I think it turned out pretty well: http://theblinkyblog.blogspot.com/2009/03/nessie-if.htmlSorry for all the links… :P

  11. I really liked your video in fact it inspired me to do a post myself :) I thought you looked pretty.

  12. Oh wow, so many people to answer back – I still can’t believe people are reading this stuff and have so many positive things to say!Michele – thank you so much for the kind words. I saw someone repost your chosenfast link. Mind if I link to you from my blog?Jessica – thanks for following; Mark is awesome and I hope I can help in even the smallest way to contribute towards the cause he is fighting for.Blinky – You are amazing and you have the most beautiful long hair I’ve ever seen. I’ve tried for years, literally, to get long hair, but it’s pretty fine and starts getting scraggly so I have to keep it medium despite all my efforts. I have no patience for it. Your picture of Nessie is awesome; I actually have a yearning to go skinny dipping in Loch Ness ;) Jim – That’s very kind of you. I hope it helps :) Jason – I saw your video post on YouTube, thanks so much for the shout out, I’m sure Mark really appreciates it too. And thanks for the pretty *grin*~B~

  13. Hi there!

    I stumbled upon your blog and I have to say I think you´re pretty awesome. Your positive attitude is truly impressive, and I’m sure it´ll help you out of your present situation pretty soon. In the meantime, stay strong. :-)

    Hugs from Spain,
    Andario

  14. Please get in contact with ETHIChousing.org via barry@ethichousing.org We are creating sustainable solutions to issues of homelessness that address issues the “invisible people” (as Mark has coined) face. YOU ARE AMAZING. Articulate, intelligent, clear thinking, wise (I could go on) and as soon as we get funding, we want you to work with us, as in pay you to work with (not for) with ETHIChousing

  15. Warren Leblank says:

    Oh you’re plenty cute, possibly even adorable. Your natural charm gets past a guy’s defenses and before he knows it he’s giving you whatever help you need, jump start, hooking up trailer and so on. If I weren’t 20 years older than you I’d want to date you. All those drives are fading away these days (thank god) but I would still feel that protective nurturing instinct if I met you.

    I’m very impressed by how well you handled the situation. You’re strong, level headed and wise.

    Homelessness has always scared me silly and I figured that if I reached that point I’d just take the sleeping pills and end it. Strange that I’ve always been more afraid of homelessness than I am of dying. Knowing that about myself gave me reason to make darn sure I’d never be faced with the situation. I bought an affordable condo rather than a house & paid extra every month. It should be paid off by September. With no mortgage I’ll live comfortably on 23% of my take home pay. Then I’ll save the excess and in a few years I’ll walk mortgage free through the front door of my own modest working class house. I’d love to have a real garden. I chose a very steady career (diesel mechanic). It’s hard but very dependable work, even in an economic depression. Safety and security has always been more important than appearances or a lavish lifestyle to me.

    The fear of homelessness has driven me a long way. I know darn well that no one is ever going to help me if I’m homeless. No one will ever care. So I have to plan my future and save every penny I can. My life could depend on it. That fear has driven me into a debt to income ratio that most doctors would envy. Could I say I’m a success? Not really. It’s a terrible thing to live in fear.

  16. I liked the video. You looked fine to me. I spent most of the video wondering about the banana boxes and why he chose to interview you standing in an outdoor awkward spot. Lol. Finally realized you were sitting in your camper at the table. I think his questions could have been better.
    I support you 100% and wish you the best. Your movie could be the next bridget jones. That said, I hope you are open to researching adult children of alcoholics issues. There’s a questionnaire it might be enlightening. Also, was there no room to rent anywhere? I understand your pet issues having had 1 chow dog and 3 older cats when I escaped a mentally ill alcoholic landlord and became homeless. I commit to pets for life – no regrets. But you mentioned finding your dog a home was an option. It seems like a girl your age could find a room to rent. I know rooms in oc are high though.

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